My mom is in bad health right now, she has had stroke after stroke. Just to make a long story short, a week ago she had a really bad one. Now she has to have total care 24-7. She can barely feed herself, she told me the other night that she wanted to get right with God. She said she was tired of fighting. I told her it is o.k. and I understand. I was not sure what to say. I can not even imagine what must be going through her mind having to depend on people for your personal needs. Have you ever prayed that God would release your loved one from their pain so they can move to the next life? I feel guilty for feeling this way, but now she is beyond recovery, and she is too far gone for physical therapy. She cannot even sit up on her own. Right side is paralyzed. Is it normal to feel like this?
#1 by Donna <>< on July 13, 2010 - 3:27 am
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Yes, my mother was dying of breast cancer at home. We took care of her through hospice for about 6 months. It got really bad before it was over and I knew she was a good Christian woman and would go to Heaven when she died. It didn’t mean that I wanted her dead, it just meant that I didn’t want her to hurt anymore. I miss her and sometimes wish she was still here, but I’m only being selfish (which we humans do). I know she is in a better place. The biggest thing that you have to do, is make sure she knows that she is right with God.
#2 by chimps69 on July 13, 2010 - 6:48 am
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you never want to see a loved one die, but it also really hard to watch them suffer and be miserable. It is perfectly normal to feel this way because if you really love her, you would want her to go so she can stop the suffering. It is a really hard thing to do, but it is not wrong
#3 by Delia F on July 13, 2010 - 12:17 pm
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yes you want your mom to go to a better place and be out of pain there is nothing wrong with that
#4 by Brittany on July 13, 2010 - 1:08 pm
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It is normal. People don’t tend to like to see their family members in such conditions. It is hard. I’ve been in the same situation myself and did not know if what I was thinking was wrong or not. Sometimes I thought I should pray that a miracle would happen and her be well, but then I thought of praying for the same things you said. Just hang in there and she may make a little progress after time. It may not be much, but even just a little means a lot. I wish you and your mother well, and good luck with everything. It will all work out for the better.
#5 by Rae. on July 13, 2010 - 5:05 pm
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Well I am atheist, but that’s totally cool that you believe in God or whatever, that stuff doesn’t bother me. My mom died when I was 10 [of cervical cancer] and she wrote to me in a journal. She frequently would say stuff like, “I’m sorry to put you guys through this, you and your brother are too young…” and now all I can think is how sorry I am she had to put up with the cancer. So yes, I have felt that way sometimes, that I wish she could have…been peaceful. I don’t want to say “died sooner” because that doesn’t look right to me. Our family friend’s dad died at age 76 after having like 3 different types of cancers and 3 strokes. He was basically a vegetable in a bed for a year and half, and I think his daughter was happy to know that he was at last at peace.
I am truly sorry for your mother. Best of luck to you.
#6 by whattodo on July 13, 2010 - 6:08 pm
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I bet she feels like that too.
I’m So Sorry.
#7 by angel on July 13, 2010 - 10:02 pm
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very normal my grand father died in pain i didn’t know him very well but i cried. man if my mom was in this condition i would pray to god whimpering telling him i would be good. tell her you love her she probably knows but let her know you know what she is feeling and you are there for.
hey listen dude spend time with her tell her happy stories maybe if you make her think postie make he laugh and smile she will feel much better
#8 by Nymphadora Tonks™ on July 14, 2010 - 1:14 am
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Oh,I’m so sorry,I know just what that’s like. My grandmother who raised me had the same thing happen but with cancer. It’s perfectly ok to feel like that,when you see a loved one in pain you don’t want them to have to continue like that. It’s wonderful that you understand there’s a time for everyone to go and this is your mother’s time. Pray God will take her to a much more wonderful place soon,and in the meantime spend as much time with her as possible,let her know how much she means. Best wishes to her and you.
#9 by sometime on July 14, 2010 - 7:45 am
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it is very normal, you don’t want to see her suffer and you know she doesn’t want to be in the position she is in. we do all we can do to keep them as long as we can but inside we know it would be best for all when it is over. I know of a couple of cases where the person was given permission to go ahead and rest, that it will be o.k. and we understand, sometimes that’s all it takes. I hope this comforts you in your time of need.
#10 by sgtozzys on July 14, 2010 - 1:53 pm
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Your bravery and unselfishness is commended….you feel compashion for your mother and pray that god has that same compasion so that you dont have to see her suffer….she will be in a better place because in the end it is quality not quantity. I also experienced this with my Grandfather. He passed away with cancer at 66. He two was in alot of pain and we prayed that god would take him home…Well two months after being diagnosed and lots of prayers we lost him but we knew he went home. The night he died he was in the bed with my grandma. he woke up and took her hand and said”i love you” he kept repeating it until my grandma said”i know jim go home” he then repeated “home” until he was gone. I pray that you and your family have peace please do not feel guilty.