“Health Service typos
These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow [it says here .... ]
1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
3. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
4. She has no rigor’s or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant
30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.”
What is medically being written about you?
(Okay not exactly a joke, but this is probably the best section and I hope you like it)
Posts Tagged Doctors
my son needs a doctor for a physical & also an orthopedic doctor. he has medicaid. he had an injury to his right ankle that was operated last year on halloween. he fractured ankle & tore some ligaments. he had a plate & metal screws put in him. so we are trying to get him so rehab.
My sister has a pain in shoulder, and on neck right on spine. None of the doctors know what it is. They’ve had her do physical therapy, one said it was lipoma, but it turned out it wasn’t. What’s wrong with her. She’s had the pain ever since she was 6, and it still hurts she is now 16., also when you touch it it feels really weird and hard, it looks weird too like it is swollen, and it is purple from a shot a Dr. gave her to get rid of the pain which didn’t work. Thank You for your answers.
There is obviously something wrong with my leg.
And if anybody says there isn’t, then I strongly disagree.
Five years ago I was running up marble stairs that had a metal edge and banged my knee. My x-rays were negative, so it was assumed I did nothing and I wasn’t allowed to run for two weeks. It eventually healed up and I just basically continued on with my life.
On September 17th, almost three weeks ago, I was just walking after sitting on the ground. I had already taken 4-6 steps, and then my knee snapped (the same one I banged) and wouldn’t stop hurting. I went to Urgent Care the next day, x-rays negetive, but the guy there (doctor #1) said I might have a torn meniscus.
The next day, September 19th, I saw [doctor #2]. He said for me to get an MRI to see if I had a torn meniscus, which, he believed I had. I got my MRI and [doctor #3] read it and said I had a “decent tear” and that I was to see [doctor #4] to discuss surgery.
Doctor #4 said “I don’t know”. So he got [doctor #5] to read the MRI and he said the area was suspicious but there was indeed no tear. Right now I’m in physical therapy, the pain is still there, still swollen and I cannot walk without crutches. My knee is not parallel to my foot and my entire leg is crooked. I cannot straighten my knee completely. It used to be completely paralyzed but physical therapy helped me straighten it, short maybe 10 or 3 degrees. After a night, or staying still, it goes right back frozen again.
When I do my exercises that my PT told me to do, I had to stop doing them because my knee was making painful cracking sounds. The exercise was to bend my knee and then straighten it about 30 times a day.
What the heck is going on?!?!?
I’m commited to MSU. They have two bachelors programs that I think would help me before I transfer to Central Michigan University to get my Doctors of Physical Therapy. Kinesiology or Athletic Training?
What Do I Do About Chronic Back And Neck Pain. I’ve Seen So Many Doctors Can’t Find Solution.?
Jan 27
chiropractor,physical therapy,MRI, botox shots ,and neck and back spinal blocks.every doctor treats me like a drug addict,because muscle relaxers and pain meds are the only thing that helps. WHAT NEXT !!!!????
Last January I fell on my wrist and pain started a week later. I had pain in between the ligaments leading to my middle and ring finger and pain around my entire wrist. I couldn’t hold anything or write. It was only a little swollen and I went to the doctor the next day. They took x-rays and found nothing and after wearing a brace for 2 months, the pain stopped. The pain came back in April, but it was only a shooting pain a couple of times a week with certain movements and only in my wrist, not my hand.
After the pain started again in my hand, and the pain in my wrist got worse, i went to the doctor (last month). The doctors have done an arthrogram where they injected contrast into my wrist and took x-ray images and then did an MRI but they found nothing. I was sent to physical therapy and the only temporary solution is taping my wrist. There is still some pain even when it is taped. I sleep with a carpal tunnel brace (on my physical therapist’s orders) but the pain is still continuing.
Has anybody had an experience with pain like this or even knows whats wrong?
i have had moderate to severe chronic back pain for several months and recently went to the doctor. after an exam in her office she she prescribed muscle relaxers,prednisone,and percocet. then sent me for an mri. about a week later she called me into her office to review the mri results. she told me that i had minor bulging of my discs but nothing that should cause as much pain as i say i have.she also told me that she saw nothing to explain the leg weakness i have. she refused to refill my prescriptions,and she sent me to a physiatrist who performed an emg. he said that the emg was fairly normal with the exception of a few abnormal nerve impulses. he diagnosed me with myofascial pain,and an inflamed sacrum due to a misalignment. he set me up with physical therapy,but also refused to treat my pain symptoms.
my question is whether or not doctors can toss you around for months and months while you are suffering or do they have to do whatever gives you relief in a timely fashion?
From running so much I have the worst shin splints, and pretty bad pain in my left knee, and so-so pain in my right knee. Some days my legs just throb all day, but some days they only hurt when I use them. The other day, they were killing. My mom said maybe we should go to the doctor to get it checked out.
What would the doctors do? X-rays? Refer me to physical therapy?
i can either go to a physical therapy clinic or a doctors office. is there any difference?